My heartiest congratulations to you, you are now a Chartered Accountant. And, yes, I love you. No matter what ensued between us, I still love you. I know, I fucked up, badly. But, seriously, be true to yourself, can you blame me? You, K, are an awesome all rounder. You gave the CA-Inter exam and cleared. I was so happy for you. Not just me, both A and I were genuinely so pleased. We hadn’t studied at all. So, we were fine with us failing. You started your internship, yes, we had fun, I had to face my parents wrath, but, oh, well, teenage years, friends were everything then. The second attempt, remember how we were so worried about A? I even remember texting you, say two to three months before the exam “I don’t feel like studying at all. I hope A clears. She seems to depressed and upset.” Then, we discussed in length about A and you asked me to o study or to go to hell. Hell I did go to. A and I didn’t clear, again. The second attempt! Blah!
Then, it was my turn to worry. Realization suddenly dawned on me. What was I doing? There were my parents spending so much on me without blinking an eye, and here I was, whiling away my future, on friends? Are you fucking kidding me? Of course my family is more important, of course my future is more important, of course my parents’ hard earned money is more important and of course I wasn’t going to believe you when you said “C’mon! We’ll study together and this time you’ll clear” What? Did you forget that we studied together for the first attempt? Did you think I forgot that you were the smartest of us all? A had all the dance and cultural arts thing going on in her life. What was I good at? Dance, no. Music, once upon a time, yes. Sports, no. Academics, no. Future? Of course I didn’t have any! So, what did I do? I buckled down, I cut off contact, concentrated hard (I am not one of those to quickly grasp things, least of all, finance, something I don’t understand!), and cleared the exam. Finally, my third attempt. A failed again and gave up Chartered Accountancy. I screwed up our friendship majorly and I know it. But, I know it was for a good cause. I cleared the exam, my parents were extremely happy and I had some hope for a future, a career.
This Is in no way a justification for my actions. No. I know what I did was wrong but, let me add, if I were to go back in time and change something, the only thing I would have changed is my timing. I should have been like this the first time around; during the first attempt of CA-Inter. But, I guess it is true when people say everything happens for a reason. You’ve heard it, right? Once bitten twice shy? Yeah, that was my situation. I am pretty sure it still is. Anyway, our relationship soured and we have just about managed to start speaking to each other normally. It will never go back to how it was. I know it. The least we can be is civil to one another.
So, the CA Final exam results came out today and you passed. You are C.A. K. I am so proud of you. I am so happy for you. I am so very proud that my friend is now a chartered accountant. I love you, I am proud of you but, apparently to you those words aren’t enough. I don’t know how else to express myself. Anonymously then I will wish you and rant. Rant away to eternity until you understand, on your own, my side of the story. Remember at that AOL meeting you told me “I could see everything in your eyes,” I need you to please look into my eyes and see everything NOW.
Comments are most welcome!!