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Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Guys, men, boys, the male species!



You guys are idiots. No, really. You are all idiots! Seriously, your level of understanding is at par with seven year olds. Even an eight year old girl would think from a better angle.

Okay, fine, I'm just pissed off. I mean, the guys I do have a crush on seem to not notice me and the guys I had a crush on look like shit now and I go "Really? I wanted him!?" Seriously! What is with you guys? When I do like you, I am not noticed. Hell! It is not my fault that I am independent. It is not my fault that I do not require help from guys most of the time. 

"Ha Ha! Yo! Shreesha! You drive the vehicle. Yo! Shreesha, lets drink until the girls cook dinner! Yo! Shreesha! Let us veg in front of the T.V watching stupid superhero movies! Yo! Shreesha! Let us talk about sex and make dirty jokes and make the other girls uncomfortable!"

Yes! I enjoy doing all that shit. No, I do not have the patience for shopping. No, I do not have the patience for gossip, I get my earful and mouthful from bitching (did that even sound right?) Yes, I am a huge disappointment as far as the female species go. BUT, HEY!! I AM A GIRL! You want proof? Look at me! And bloody hell, I like you. Yes, you! How the fuck is that not obvious? I am laughing at your every joke (however stupid), I am dressing well (unlike the others :-) ) and I have no idea what else to add. Yes, I help you with the driving and the talks and all that shit, but, I want you too! Hell, when we got drunk, do you know what a tough time I had with keeping my hands and myself in check? What did I want to do, you ask? I don't know, smooch you, rip your shirt off and ask you to bed. No, no. Don't you dare judge me. That is what crushes are all about when you hit the adult side of the 20s. In college, crushes were all about hearts and red and pink and balloons and all that crap. Growing up, you realize all that was indeed crap and need something more. For me, at this juncture, where stress relief factors play a major role, all I can think about is alcohol and sex. Seriously! "Dear Lord, he looks so good, he talks very well. Hmm, quite an intellect, good personality.. hmm.. I think I may even like him.." A couple of days and bham!! You are fantasizing. Don't deny it. You are making a fool of yourself. 

And my crush doesn't even realize any of this. No, no. At 6 feet height and all that knowledge of accountancy, common sense seems to have taken a backseat at least as far as basic human needs go, if you know what I mean. Argh! And he thinks of me as a kid. Well, take that thought and shove it up your ass. I am super pissed off.

And, remember Mr. Shreesha Iyengar? He is another fool. Simply out of this world! He got a job. Yay! Shreesha happy. But, Shreesha pissed off too. Why? Well, since his life has taken a turn for the better, things with his girlfriend are all rosy. I'm happy and all, but, I have been left behind. I'm not talking competition or anything. I'm saying guys should have the basic courtesy to maintain contact with someone who has helped you through difficult times. Wait. Not just guys. People, in general. Why the fuck do I never find myself on the side where I end up leaving people who have helped me? That's right, I am a good girl! :-)

Okay, I am sleepy and bored and addicted to the Lungi Dance song, especially the "Yo! Yo! Honey Singh!" part :-P Needed to rant and I have done the same. 

Good night and Happy Independence Day, in advance!!


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